Calgary

So here I am in Calgary, well I'm actually in Airdrie which is about 25 minutes north of Calgary. I've been here for just over a month and I'm starting to settle in. I'm now working at Enmax, which is a Electic/Gas company that produces and distributes power to AB. It's an amazing job that pays well and has great perks. I'm also starting to make friends.... finally... Since I arrived in Calgary I've been through alot, Julie and I have been having issues that may or may not get resolved. I don't want to get into that too much right now but since I've been here I've also had amazing times. The Rockies are absolutely beautiful and I'm totally in love with them, I've also had great times with some of my friends that are out here. The first week or so was hell, I was jobless, knew nobody and was on my own, I have to say that during that period I never considered returning to NB, I don't think I will return for a very long time, well, not permanently anyway. I think that 6 months/ a year from now when I look back and think of what I've done and realize that I made it through all of this, I will have gained not only respect for myself but also I'll have become a stronger person. Even though at times I feel like curling up into a ball and crying myself to sleep, sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and dancing in the street while hugging everybody that walks by. Most of the time I'm somewhere in between. I really have to look at the big picture, moving out here took balls, I mean I've left my family, friends and a job that I had been working at for about 8 years. I think that what I did took courage and I will only benefit from this in the long run. In regards to my love life, well, I feel like McDreamy, that's the best way to put it. I don't know what's the best thing at this point, all I want is to be happy and loved. I feel this is possible or I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. I am looking out for myself and working on what makes Ricky happy and really that's all I can do. I'm loving life more and more every day despite what's going on in my love life. A close friend of mine just said: "Do me a favor, be happy. Try. Like really really hard. Don't be a pussy ;-) " LOL, so harsh but just the right thing to say. I feel pretty happy today. I just got back from star bucks. I love star bucks for several reasons, first reason being the fact that they have nice big comfy chairs, secondly the vanilla lattes I love them.... I also like the music that they play. I also enjoy the fact that I usually talk to people there, like this evening as my latte was being prepared the young lady next to me asked me what I had ordered and said that it was a good choice, she had ordered the same thing... anyway, all to say that I enjoy the social aspect of it. I'm looking forward to move downtown, I know that I will probably make many more friends and feel more comfortable, I'm used to living right down town and can't wait to return. Wow, this is a pretty big post... oh well, it feels good to write. I've been writing in my journal almost every day since I've been here and feel that it's an excellent way of expressing how I feel, sometimes simply jotting down what you feel helps clear things up. Well I should get going. The world awaits. till next time.. xoxoxo R

:-p

So I'm finally completely moved out of my place.. Man, it feels fucking great, I feel like a ton has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm happy to be able to spend some time NOT cleaning or packing. I've decided to spend the remaining of my time in Moncton with friends/family, I only have a week and a half and should really take advantage of it. Tomorrow Mmarc is in town so I should be heading down town for drinks and such. Friday is my work going away party and Sat my friend P iddle diddle widdle is having another party for me.

So I've been sort of a dick lately, I'm not going to go in details but honeslty there's absotlutely no reason why I should be a dick for so many reasons, mainly because I should really just focus on myself and enjoy life and not worry about much else, secondly, by being a dick I'm hurting others and they totally don't deserve it. SO, I'm going to just chill and enjoy "the moment"

I can't beleive I'm done work on Friday, today was a really good day at work, I publicly announced that I will no longer be doing any work and everybody laughed and said: "I noticed".. but truthfully I will probably still do what is excpected of me because that's just who I am.

I'm living a Anick's for a few weeks and really like it here, I love the company and the dog and cat. I'm happy to be here and feel soooooooooo relaxed.. finally!!... Well I'm going read a bit and hit the hay...

ciao for now...

I'll keep ya posted
!!!!!!!!!!!!

R

Holly Fuck!

WAY to much shit on my plate right now.

So I'm moving out of my apt this weekend. I've been packing all week and I HATE it. I'm also done work on the 4th of July so I've been trying to tie up loose ends so that people at work won't be fucked when I'm gone. The following week I'm heading out to Calgary. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions lately. All my friends and co-workers want to hang out with me all the time and so does my family but really I can't because I'm fucking packing. I hardly even have time to talk, text, email anybody. Anyway, I'm trying to prioritize what I have to do and what needs to be done but I'm having a hard time with it.

This is what needs to get done.

• I need to FIND A JOB
• get my car fixed/tune up before I go
• find an apartment
  
• move out
• finish up work stuff
• drive out to Calgary
• find living arrangements until we GET an apt
• go to the dump
• go to head start

plus many more...

I wish my GF was here with me to help me through it.. frig... I know she's going through pretty much the same shit but man... this fucking sucks donkey balls..

I'm sure in the end it will be ALL worth it and can not wait to see the mountains and have a job and an apt and just live it up... I'm also pretty excited for the drive up...

anyway, I should go PACK! faaaawwwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkkk..

ciao for now!

stay tuned for pics from across Cananda

R

Ayyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee

So Julie left for Calgary this morning, I'm very sad but at the same time I'm happy because I know that soon it will be my time to go as well. I don't know if it's because she's gone but today I felt a little anxious, probably because I still have quite a few things to do before I leave so, I've decided to start preparing for the big move. I gave my notice to my landlord today and I've also decided that I will give my work notice on Friday, I've prepared my resignation letter and I'm currently working on my resume. On Friday I'm going to the bank to get a few things taken care of and on Saturday I'm having a yard sale to get rid of most of my stuff. My brother is coming to get a few things this weekend as well. I feel like I've taken care of a few things that have been on my mind so I'm feeling a little more at ease.

I've decided to keep myself real busy while Julie is away, mostly because I don't want to dwell on the fact that I won't see her for a couple months but also because I DO have a lot to do and I really should try to spend as much of my time with family and friends.

Well I'm going to continue to work on my resume. talk to you soon!!

This is a pic from my bday.. me and the Chipsta'

G Ts ahead

So my life is about to change, come mid-July I will be moving to Calgary. It's going to be a new beginning; a fresh start. I've been at ICT for 8 years and feel like I've learned a lot and took what I need from that place but it's time to move on to bigger and better things. Julie is leaving in exactly 2 weeks from today to do her apprenticeship in Calgary. I will be moving out there probably around July 20th (at the latest). I CAN NOT wait to move, I find myself daydreaming about the mountains and the big city, I know that I will do well out there and I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Man, I don't know if it's because I know that I'm leaving soon but man, I can't wait to quit, I mean 8 years is a long fucking time... seriously... i was 20 when I started there! 20! holly shiat... I don't hate my job, I kind of like it actually but I'm welcoming change with open arms.

I've started boxing lately, which is the craziest workout I've ever done, I love it... besides that I've been keeping myself pretty busy with Julie, friends, working out and stuff but my mind always seems to find it's way back to Calgary.

I'm going to be driving cross country alone to Calgary, I'm taking 7-8 days to do it so that I can take it all in and stop and visit ppl along the way... I figure this will probably be the one and only time I will have the chance to drive across Canada so I'm going to take advantage of it.

Well, just wanted to keep the bloggin' alive..

Ciao for now...

Kind Words

It seems that every time I'm in need of a "pick me up" or a kick in the ass someone comes along and says just the right thing. Thank you for the kind words. Here's part of the Email I received today:


You think I have a lot to offer? Think about yourself Ricky. You have a chance right now to give your all, you aren’t held down and you’re an adult. Get out there! Show the world what it is that YOU have to offer. The only reason why people don’t drop at your feet is because you scare them with your niceness. All the world is vanity and strife. It is easier to be hateful and cunning than helpful and kind, you are the epitome of the latter and you aren’t appreciated as you should be.

Every time I read this Email I feel like my eyes open wider and wider. I DO have a lot to offer and yes, I am kind. The world if my Oyster....

R

Complete Turnaround

Sooo much better...


I think I have found what was missing. Honestly, I don't think it was a matter of finding what was absent in my life, I believe that the issue was that I had too much on my plate, I was over-analyzing everything which seemed to separate the body from the mind, I felt completely overwhelmed and smothered by emotion, I didn't realize how good things were because I was so fixated on finding what was supposedly wrong with my life. I mean, life isn't perfect and will never be but sometimes a person has to see things as they are and just accept them no matter how complicated or frustrating they can be. At the end of the day, usually, things aren't that bad.

Today I feel as thought there's so much to do and cannot wait to explore the unknown that lies ahead. Anyway, I feel very happy with my life and I'm excited because I'm excited... if that makes sense. I'm looking forward to traveling and meeting new people and seeing new things, I'm excited to continue loving the people I love and giving what I can to them.

If I could offer someone some advice, it would be this: Live life as if you're seeing things for the first time, don't worry too much about how others are feeling because ultimately you are unable to change how they feel, all you can do is be kind to everybody you meet because everyone is fighting a hard battle.

Hugs and kisses,

R

I feel bored in this stasis life. I feel like I need to be needed.. is this how a person should feel? Should I not feel content with what I've got, who I am?... Why do I feel this "need".. what is driving this? I have friends who love me, a girlfriend who adores me, family that would die for me and a job where I'm always needed. So.. what is missing...? Some people may say that I need to travel or that I'm waiting for something/someone but I don't think so, I think that I'm holding back not because I'm waiting for someone or something but because I'm afraid, afraid of what I may feel, what I may find or afraid of being hurt. I don't know what the next step is.. what am I to do, where am I to go..? Maybe it's just temporary...

I also feel like I'm dragging people down with me.. I feel bad for talking about my little problems because to tell you the truth I'm not even sure what is wrong and I know that everybody's got their own problems.

Maybe I'm just lonely.. I mean I've never lived alone before and it's going on 8 months or so.. hmm who knows..

Well that's it for today.
thank you Blog.

I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life
~ Leo Tolstoy

Title

So I haven't posted pics in like a million years so here's a few from our recent trip to Cape Breton. I feel like every time I decided to write it's because I'm going to through some sort of crisis.. well today THERE IS NO CRISIS. Thanks Megan for your comment. Honestly now with facebook, I think that most people are neglecting their blog, well that's my excuse anyway.. Holly fuck, did you know that Xmas is in 2 months.. shiaaaaaaat!

Well let me tell you a bit about my trip to Cape Breton. If ever you do the Cabot trail make sure you head up to a place called "Meat Cove", it's absolutely amazing. Cape Breton is amazing, I would love to eventually retire there when I'm an old foggie. While I was in Cape Breton we went to a small town called Margare and went to a square dance. I thought that it's was amazing, not just because of the funky dancing but mostly because there were people there between the ages of 7 and 70 and there's absolutely no alcohol sold and it stays open until 1 am.. The place was packed... there must of been over 100 people. I really like it how people were having so much fun on a Sat night with no booze.., here in the city it's almost impossible to find a place were people are dancing and screaming with no alcohol involved. Anyway, I'm off to bed......

Bonsoir